i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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