The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
