Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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