I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
