It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I won the penis lottery.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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