he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
