I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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