just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
