Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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