haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
