Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
