Little spoons don't ask big questions
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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