let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
