I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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