My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
