I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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