PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
