Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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