please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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