Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
