Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
