i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
