VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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