Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
