living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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