Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
