Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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