u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
