It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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