I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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