So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
