weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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