oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize