I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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