u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
