im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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