Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
