I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
