the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
