Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
