I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
