There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
