Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You smell like a Billy Joel song
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
