my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
