Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
