You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
