i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
