Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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