he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
