I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
